(#1) REDEFINING "WINNING"The Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) at Stanford University has developed materials to help coaches do a better job of using sports to build character in young athletes. A win-at-all-cost coach has only one goal: to win. A Positive Coach wants to win, but has a second goal: to help players use the sports experience to learn "life lessons" that will help them be successful in every aspect of their life. That's why PCA calls a Positive Coach a "Double-Goal Coach."
Redefining "Winner" --In the professional sports entertainment business, there is only one goal--to have the most points at the end of a contest. In youth sports, however, there is a second goal: to produce young people who will be winners in life. In order to help our children get the most out of competitive sports, we need to redefine what it means to be a "winner."
Regardless of what the scoreboard says, here's what winners do. They
Make maximum effort.
Continue to learn and improve.
Refuse to let mistakes (or fear of making mistakes) stop them.
This is referred to as a Mastery Orientation. PCA has developed a memory aid for athletes called the "Tree of Mastery."
We say that the Tree of Mastery is an ELM Tree where ELM stands for Effort, Learning, and Mistakes. If our athletes approach this season with these things in mind, not only will they be successful in practices and games, but they'll also develop habits that serve them well throughout their lives.
There is an added benefit. Athletes who are coached with a Mastery Orientation tend to have reduced anxiety and increased self-confidence. And when athletes feel less anxiety, they are more likely to have fun playing their sport!
Here's how you can help as a parent and coach:
1) Tell your children that you want them to be winners in life and remind them of the three things that winners do (remember ELM).
2) Let your children know you appreciate it when they and their teammates try hard even if they lose the contest.
3) Challenge yourself not to ask, "Did you win?" until after you've asked several, more important questions. Reveal what matters most to you through the questions you ask: "Did you try as hard as you could?", "Are you getting better?", "When you made a mistake did you bounce back?" You could also ask them if they had fun!
4) Recognize that commitment to Mastery is hard work. Be patient and selective when criticizing your child's play, choosing times when they're most receptive. Also, point out situations in which you noticed them trying hard. Tell them when you notice that they are improving regardless of the outcome of a particular play or contest.
For more information about the Positive Coaching Alliance, you can visit the PCA web site at www.positivecoach.org, call 650-725-0024, send e-mail to pca@positivecoach.org, or write Positive Coaching Alliance, Dept. of Athletics, Stanford University, Stanford, CA 94305-6150.
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